a little word game, haha

I am nocturnal
Mostly solitary
Increasing my knowledge during my nighttime wanderings for a quiet place
Conspicuous dark circles around my eyes, although they are not made out of feathers
I throw up indigestible portions of my meals, like cheese

I say, Hoooooot Hooooot because I can..

What am I?




OFKAL
(Owl Formerly Known As Leanne)

blah

I can't concentrate. I can't write this essay. I don't know what I believe in anymore - this class is taking whatever faith I had left and squishing it into a wet carpet. So I'm not too sure of much at the moment.
What is wrong with me, why can't I think anymore??
25% of my mark is based on how well I can argue my point of view across - what if I don't have a point of view?
And it is so cold outside, I just thought I'd put that one out there - I refuse to go outside again today if I have anything to do with it. No - I'm just going to be shut in here trying to take all of the muddled thoughts swirling in circles from my brain and sort them out.
Good luck to ME

(I really want Starbucks coffee - I wonder if that would make everything better. Probably, it's never failed me before..)

I just don't know anymore

why, why, why???
that's what I keep asking myself but so far I haven't found an answer yet. Like I said earlier, it's like a horrible car accident - you're watching it happen and you really don't want to see what you are seeing, but you can't rip your eyes away from the ugly scene unfolding before your eyes because you might miss something. When really, you wanted to miss the whole thing - it's like a bad dream that you can't wake up out of. I'm just sitting here, trying to study, but I can't. Last night just keeps on rolling through my mind, the events playing themselves out once more - and I have a strong hunch that it's going to keep on getting worse because I've had a whole day to dwell upon it and it just keeps on getting uglier. I can't concentrate - I'm just staring off into space, thinking. And thinking is getting me nowhere but closer to a possible bad grade on my exam tomorrow.
Why did that have to happen? Why do I care so much? I wish I could just stop caring but clearly that's not working. I wish I could just shut those feelings off - I really want to study, but I CAN'T DO IT. It's not fair. Why?? I just want to scream - I mutilated a gummy bear in the marina but killing a defenseless candy hiding behind a plastic package didn't really help.
study, study, study, biology, genetics, WHY??
clearly writing this blog is just a waste of my time and possibly yours. Oh well.
And apparently we are just bad people according to almost everyone on this floor - once again, why? What did we do? That's a whole new story though.

It was WRONG, that's what it all was. Just plain wrong. Wrong and uncalled for. Totally unnecessary and I hope that this will be realized very soon.

fake people stink

How do you live your life knowing everything you say and do is all a big lie? Do you even realize how incredibly sad you're acting and how pathetic you are to everyone else? Do you even listen to the words coming out of your mouth?
Somehow I don't think so.
Maybe while you're lying in bed one night it'll suddenly dawn on you that your entire day, week, month, SEMESTER was all FAKE - and that you haven't learned one single thing from anybody else or helped one single person through anything with your empty and irritating words.

But if it makes you such a happy person, well then - good for you. I hope everything works out just great.

FUCKING UGLY TAINT-ASS BITCHES

I was going to write a blog about this last night - but decided that it would succeed in putting me in another rage-ATTACK.
Good job MON for writing that. It sums it up perfectly.
I come home from my lab (which ended very late, I might add) and guess who's sitting on the couches, lounging with their fat asses hanging out for everyone to see? Yeah, that's right - Ugly bitch Lindsey and Maria - they can't even look me in the face, they're too fucking scared. Like you said SB, I will fight them. We will together. Those bitches are too chicken-shit to address any issues and now they're just acting all immature about it - WHO THE FUCK IS ACTING LIKE THEY'RE FIVE YEARS OLD NOW??
WHO HAS NO CLASS?
I think their actions today can answer my questions.
I hate hypocrites as well and that is exactly what they are being - I mean, who does that? They never talked super loudly in their rooms before with their doors open - all of the sudden hey - that seems like WAY too big of a coincidence to me..
And that hair problem is definitely Lindsey's fault - the color is her hair, it's plain to see. And it's just ugly like her so Mystery Solved. We need to take my scissors and cut it off when she's not paying attention and then shove it by the handfuls into her ugly twisted little gross mouth. Maybe if we're lucky she'll choke to death and we can blame it on her nasty-ass hair. And while we're at it - Maria can go to hell too. I AM SO SICK OF GOD-DAMN GIRLS - why are they acting like we're back in high school? I mean - at least I'm not afraid to address issues to their faces like last night - the whole me yelling at Lindsey wouldn't have happened if I had just said " oh, Okay Wendy sure I'll be quiet"
NO, I am sick of being told to 'Be Quiet'. We live on a loud-designation floor and it was 10:00 in the evening. So shut the fuck up and deal with it because quite frankly, I don't give a fucking shit what you think. I'm sick of just being 'too nice' and I've already started to change that this year and this incident just tested it. If these bitches don't like it well TOUGH, because like Alison said, I will fight you. We will fight you.

Grow up or Get Out

'MEEEEEEEEEEEEEOW'

ASSHOLE

From now on if anyone pisses me off, I'm just going to tell them to shove it up the...

SNAP BASKET

Bwhahahhahahahahahaha. And everything will be good.

Harry Potter tonight! I'm so excited! It's supposed to be the best one yet, according to the radio! And Dani and I are getting ice caps after class..joy, I'm so excited.

I love you all and my blog has absolutely nothing to do with you girls, but I'm pretty sure you could have figured that out on your own. Once again, I'm just raging

Stupid blogs

I HATE STUPID THINGS

• stupid people
• stupid boys
• stupid biochemistry
• stupid university
• stupid people who can't walk on campus
• stupid cold Edmonton weather
• stupid Lister
• stupid biology
• stupid Asian ta's who can't speak properly
• stupid marina workers
• stupid mondays
• stupid time
• stupid parents
• stupid ugly snap-baskets
• did I mention STUPID GUYS???
• stupid guys who make dumbass comments
• stupid retarded guys
• stupid mama's boys
• stupid crying
• stupid birth control
• stupid university pharmacy
• stupid ugly twat faces
• stupid failing courses
• STUPID ME

I think I'm done now. But I'm still in a big rage over pretty much everything around me when nothing of a huge significance has happened. It makes no sense. I wish I was getting my period, then i could blame it on the pms.

FUCK

1. What time is it? 12:20 AM
2. What is your name? Leanne
3.Any nicknames? ASSHOLE, SB, ugh - leanner bananer
4. Parent's names? Darcy and Jackie
5. What is your Favourite drink? water ----oh home-made gin slimes in a pitcher. tequila.
6.(a) Tattoos? nope, don't want any
(b) Body piercing? just ears
7. How much do you love your job-scale of 1 to 10? my job - a tired, overworked, unhealthy, PMS-ing student. Oh yeah. I just love it. I'll give it an 11!
8. Birthplace: Calgary
9. Favourite vacation spot: haven't been to many places so I'm going to say Powell River/Sandpoint. yay.
10. Ever been to Africa? no. I'd love to go on a safari though and see elephants
11. Stolen any traffic signs? no, it's on my list of things to do
12. Ever been in a car accident? no but my cousin's car ran out of gas on the highway, almost causing an accident.
13. Croutons or Bacon bits? i'm not a huge fan of either, but croutons I suppose
14. 2 Door or 4 Door car? 2 door? do I have a car?
15. Salad Dressing? honey mustard/italian
16. Favourite Pie: apple/cherry
17. Favourite Number? 716
18. Favourite Movie? the princess bride, ever after, cruel intentions, love actually/Aladdin - i heart movies
19. Favourite Colour? red/pink/orange/yellow/green/blue/purple - I love color
20. Favourite Holiday? Christmas definitely
21. Favourite Food? anything spicy - tomato soup with macaroni, that is my absolute favorite thing in the world
22. Favourite day of the week? Friday
23. Favourite brand of body soap? i like clean?
24. Favourite TV show? well, the O.C, when I watch it which is never
25. Toothpaste? i like clean teeth. it doesn't matter.
26. Most recently read book? dean koontz - 'from the corner of his eye'
27. Favourite Smell? the ocean, rain, a christmas tree
28. What do you do to relax? have a nap, exercise, have a snack, read my book
29. Favourite Fast Food? aramark? haha. gross. i don't really eat fast food but probably Wendy's
30. When was your last hospital visit? grade 10, salmonella poisoning, fun.
31. Message to your friends reading this: i should be sleeping, instead i'm filling out Dani's survey. And I'd like to do an interpretive dance as Celine Dion was playing but it's almost 1AM and nobody really does interpretive dance when we should be sleeping.
32. How do you see yourself in 10 years? almost at my mid-life crisis. hopefully having fucking awesome sex in a nice big comfy soft bed.
33. What do you do when you are bored? talk on msn. have a nap. call my cousin. try to clean my room.
34. What presents do you enjoy receiving? a slurpee, notes from you guys. tea from Alison is always another great present
35. Furthest place you will send this message? the moon
36. Who will respond the fastest? shut up
37. Least likely to respond? again, I DON'T KNOW
38. What time is it now? time to go to sleep, 12:45 AM

retrograde

Kim, I read your blog and it really sounds as if you're talking about one of us girls, the only ones who read your blogs. And it's probably me. If your comments about movies are concerning me then I wish you'd just say something to me instead of side-stepping around in in a blog that you know I'm going to read. Or at least say who you're pissed off at because it's not that hard to figure out.You're right in saying that everyone is entitled to their own opinion but nobody was making fun of you last night about that movie - and last time I checked you give out your opinions quite freely along with the rest of us. I'll talk to you about this in person if you want, but I'm not going to be around this afternoon/tonight - so until then, I'm giving you this because that's how I'm feeling at the moment.

C.O.D this Bitch!

hahaha

OOPS

Haha. I was just talking to my cousin on MSN and he told me that my dad found out that my little brother Kurtis got drunk this Thanksgiving. That he was doing vodka shots and chugging beer...lol. I wonder if he knew about him wearing the cowboy hat. Hahahahah. I'm scared to talk to my dad now. But I guess he was just mad at the cousin who supplied him with the alcohol. EEk. The sad thing is that I think Kurtis told my dad what happened. What a rookie. I'm never going to let him drink again. blaaast. Stupid brothers.

Fucking Patricide

I hate my parents. Both of them, I'm dead serious. Right now I am experiencing an extreme distaste for the entire idea of them. Like, okay - I thought my dad was somewhat normal before, and wasn't a raging lunatic with crazy ideas that come out of nowhere - I mean, I knew my mom was a pretty screwed up individual, but I COULD DEAL WITH THAT (just barely), and now it's my dad too. I mean, it's always been there, below the surface, but yeah, he picks a nice fucking Thanksgiving weekend to bring up absolutely everything that's been eating at him for the past seven years - directs all of his anger right at me and then turns it around on me when I get upset. Such an asshole. I hate it when people make me out to be the bad guy, but he wasn't the one who left the room, crying. He's a fucking dick. And I don't care if he had been drinking, whatever, that's the same old fucked up excuse that everyone in my goddamn family uses. He/she's been drinking, they really didn't mean what they said/did. Yeah fucking right. When I'm drinking, I'm more honest and I'm willing to bet absolutely everything I own that he was being all the more truthful. Blah blah blah, he doesn't trust me, apparently I'm ungrateful and I'm just like my mother. Which means, according to him, I'm a 'bitch' X3 , and a huge 'waste of space'. Which is what he said last night about her, which pissed me off to no end. And then today, dropping me off back at Lister he kind of halfway apologized for last night, no specifics or anything, then had the nerve to ask me if I was sorry. Ha, yeah right. It sure pissed him off when I said that no, I'm not sorry, because I didn't do anything. He was the one being a drunk asshole. Like, who does that shit?? Everyone else possesses a set of somewhat normal parents, what the hell is wrong with me?? Whatever, I don't really care anymore. He thinks that I'm ungrateful because he gave me sooo much apparently, with school and everything -yeah right. I didn't need him when he left when I was 13, and I most definitely don't need his fucking money or help now. I'll tell you what he gave me - a messed up attitude and an intense distrust of anything my parents tell me, and five years of bullshit hell living with my mom and dealing with what he did to her/us and her enormous multitude of problems. Yeah, THANKS daddy. Love you too.

<-----he sure looks happy, doesn't he?

yeah! One midterm down, four to go! It's so exciting. Plus, I've had absolutely no sleep at all - I don't really feel tired but it will hit me. Especially since I still have my biology lab - and a report to write up. Then there's dodgeball. I'm going to die. Why oh why am I so dumb?? I do this to myself every single time. Plus the fire drill didn't help things. I would have gotten an extra half hour of sleep but noooo....they had to do it on the monday morning. Oh well, at least it's over with now. Yeah..my head hurts - a lot. Same with my eyes. If you see me socializing at all tonight - do me a favor and kick me, ok? Dodgeball is my only break allowed and that IS ALL. Dammit, stupid biology. I'm scared for next semester, like actually really afraid. For my sanity. Why?? I hate school. And now I am kind of feeling homesick. Ugh, I hate university. But really I love it - Lister just sucks majorly though. Too many distractions. I need to get my act together. Thank you Dani for getting me tea this morning and breakfast in case I needed it! You're a sweetheart. And thanks for the note Kim and luck - I think I did okay on the midterm. I'd like to say I 'raped' it, but we'll see...haha. I guess I'll know soon enough. I know I made one mistake already, stupidly enough, but whatever. One mark. ANyways - I have to go finish my biology lab report - ugh, I do NOT want to be in a lab this afternoon. It's just taking away from other homework time. Good God, shoot me now. Hmm, I'm complaining a lot. Pay no attention, I'm just sick of school! Love you all!

Finally, some closure. For some reason, tonight the words were just flowing freely. I hate being able to put what I want to say into writing - I wish I could actually talk to the person. It sucks. Oh well, it's done and over with. I don't feel happy but I feel really alleviated and like I have some real closure. It's the greatest thing in the world. I hate hurting people though - but if I'm hurting myself in the process of trying to spare their feelings - well...survival of the fittest I suppose. That's how I look at it anyways. I can't make somebody else happy and be miserable in the end. Life just doesn't work that way and it sucks sometimes...but YAY!
*big sigh of relief*

So do you think that they have actually invented real chill pills? And if not - why the fuck NOT? I seriously need one. Maybe just medication or something. I Don't know - for the last week I have been on edge. Typing right now is so hard because I am so stressed out and anxious. My fingers aren't really cooperating and I keep on having to fix things. I feel very panicky right now and everything is just building up and I am going to have a melt-down. Talking or writing about it doesn't help either - so far I have tried talking to three separate people and it doesn nothing. Still really stressed out. I'm really hoping that this goes away before the real stress (a.k.a. School) begins. Actually no - it's already stressing me out. Why can't they just e-mail me back with answers to my questions? It's not that difficult and it's fucking me over. I really need to breathe because for SOME reason my vision is going all funny and I feel like I'm actually going to pass out. Except for that I'm sitting down and I shouldn't be feeling like I stood up too fast - hate it, hate it, hate it. I need to go for a walk//run/whatever. My mind is just running on warp-speed or something - too fast to even think really clearly. I tried stabbing a bulletin board with a tack but I just freaked out the other girls working here. Nothing is working and I'm not calming down yet. I can't even think. K, this is getting me nowhere.

I never did disappear or leave. I didn't go to Kelowna. I didn't go anywhere, but I'm okay with that. I'm just kind of blah right now about pretty much everything. I really don't know what to do or where to go anymore. My home really isn't my home - my mom says I'm not allowed to come home apparently. It's all messed up. All I do when I go home is retreat to my room, read and listen to music - and sleep. My brothers aren't even there anymore so there really is no point to going back, but I'm going to have to eventually - like tonight. Oh, blech. Life is fucked. Oh yeah - I broke up with Jason. There's a little bit of happiness there I guess - well not happiness exactly - just relief. Even though I don't really go out during the week anymore, I really don't care. I don't have to deal with all of the drama and bullshit, which makes me happy. And things are going well with this other person, so I'm happy about that.
*sigh*
i don't know what to do.

Hey guys - just writing a quick post to tell you all 'goodbye'

I have decided that I am going to skip town tomorrow after work and just screw right the f*ck off to someplace where nobody knows where I am. And since I don't have a cell phone, nobody will be able to reach me. Oh you just wait and see. It'll happen. And if I draw my absence out until sometime later Saturday night, then I won't be going to Kelowna. Everything will be perfectly fine then - ah. I feel like I used to when I'd avoid visiting my dad when I was a lot younger. Except this time it's *ahem* you-know-who and my cousin.

I'm totally done for.

At least I have my purse. It's smiling at me now. It is telling me to go to the caribbean and just live a peaceful life chewing on four-leaf clovers and mint leaves or something equally calming and peaceful.

Oh yeah - it's gonna be great. I may write in here tomorrow to finalize the plans. But until then, or not at all -

Arrivederci i miei amici bei...

This may sound pathetic but I may no longer be turning to food (ice cream, chips, etc) when I am feeling sad and depressed. I bought a new purse today at work - I've wanted it forever but I never bought it. It's a pink and brown caribbean joe purse, and it's very bright and kind of lifts my spirits when I look at it. I've already removed my wallet and other things from my 'L' purse and they now live in the pink purse. I left it on my desk so I can look at it and feel a bit happier. I know we shouldn't turn to materialistic things to help us along but it's definitely doing a good job. But I know when I go home and have time to myself to think, the purse really won't make much of a difference.

I wish I could move to the caribbean and live in a little hut with a palm tree outside my window. That would make me happy.

So now I am back from Idaho. Things were so peaceful and I felt absolutely no stress while I was away – and now my life is just as complicated, screwed up, confusing, and difficult as it was before. I guess I shouldn’t be complaining but still – why can’t anything ever go right? I don’t understand why everything I have to say must obviously be wrong or totally unfounded. It’s such bullshit. I am not an idiotic little child who doesn’t know what she wants – on the contrary. Quite frankly I know exactly what I want to do and he is just making it all the more difficult and frustrating and hurtful for both of us. I honestly don’t feel like I’m just throwing a great thing away – I mean, I thought we did have a good thing going – when times were good, well they were really good. But when times were bad, they were horrible and disgusting and I was always crying about things. Even though he wants another chance because he knows he’s messed up majorly – I really do forgive him but it’s like I have already moved on with my life. I hate going back on decisions because then I just second guess myself and then I don’t know what the hell is going on. Why can’t he just accept that no, I don’t love him, and that yes, maybe I do want to experience things with other people – even if that means missing him or getting hurt in the end? He says he sees how his friends act when they are not around their girlfriends – and he says that there are not a lot of guys out there who don’t cheat or think about any other girl. He says that he’s not being conceited but it sounds like he’s trying to make me realize that I’m fucked without him and that I will never, ever find another guy who will treat me well. Call me crazy, but I am independent and I want to be done with this. We had 6 months together – and I think that I did pretty damn good for my first relationship. I don’t want to marry this guy; I absolutely hate talking about the future – it freaks me out a little. I’d like to spend August not attached to anybody and just see how things work out. And I’d like to move back to Edmonton and have fun with my friends and concentrate on my studies without having to worry about making time for him. I suppose that when I look back on these words I may sound selfish – but I’m going with my intuition and gut-feeling. When I think about being with him I get a panicky feeling in my stomach – and they are most definitely not the butterflies. I wasn’t excited to see him for the first time in ten days yesterday – and I am absolutely loving the fact that I don’t have to call him at all for the rest of this week. I don’t want to go to Kelowna – if I do go, it’s only for my cousin and the fact that I don’t want to screw her over. It’s kind of a fucked up situation but people do change and I definitely have. I asked my mother when she knew she was in love with a guy and she said that it happened when she realized that she wanted to spend all of her time with him. I think that makes a lot of sense and it made me realize that I’m just not feeling the same way as he is anymore – I don’t want to spend any time with him anymore. It makes me a little sad that I feel this way but I can’t help it. I think that there have just been too many past hurts and problems to continue on with this – whatever we had or have, I don’t know.
Oh sigh, I’m so confused right now. But going home and just doing my own thing and not having to check in or make sure I call him is incredibly relieving. I honestly don’t think I’m going to regret all the things that I have said or done and am about to do.

La

Thanks for the message Kimmy. DAMN straight happiness is quickly approaching. Oh shit - we have to wake up in five hours. NICELY done. I hate 4AM wake-up calls but it's alright because yes, a drunken wet and wild week of fun awaits us. In good ol' inbred and incestual redneck-filled Sandpoint, Idaho. It should be some good times.
I CAN'T WAIT!
I'm GETTING COCOA BUTTER AGAIN GUYS!! MAYBE EVEN TWO BOTTLES!!!

It's really fun. Cocoa butter is hot. You'd be surprised at how much fun you can have with it. Dani, maybe you'd be on the same wavelength as me. We have strange minds and we make weird noises with toothpaste so.....cocoa butter could be interesting.

BWahaha. I'm on crack. Actually it's a mixture of reactine, west nile, lack of sleep, and too much Harry Potter. Blast that book. I want to finish it now! Victory is mine....

Night all...I think we all deserve sweet dreams.

Life is weird

I know I should be excited about going to Idaho. I still am but I am so tired that it seems impossible to feel anything else.
Sleep. That is all I am asking for. Is that too much to ask?
I wish I wasn't feeling so torn - like I am expected to act a certain way and when I don't live up to the expectation certain people have, I feel horrible. But it's not my fault if I can't please everybody right? Maybe if I was feeling less tired and more normal, then I could tell these people where to go. But I guess right now all there is for me is more work to do (this day will never end), and then after work I have to visit with my mom and brother, while I'm packing. And it doesn't help that Jason is coming over too - he was going to work yesterday but something went wrong with their wells and once again the trip to Medicine Hat is postponed. And we had already said goodbye on Tuesday night. I can't win. Now I have to deal with it all over again. I've lost track of how many times I've said goodbye to that boy only to get a phone call saying that he is back. Let me tell you this - I am sick of it and it is wearing on my nerves. Nothing seems to go as planned anymore - I have no time for anything - he takes up so much of my time and I feel like I'm obligated to see him more. You know what I would love to do? Just go home - turn on some music, open my window, lay in my bed with my blankets and cat, and read Harry Potter. That's what I've been basically fantasizing and day dreaming about so much lately but it is never going to happen. People just call, call, call, and demand, demand, demand. If it isn't boyfriends, it's supposed clueless and cowardly 'friends' basically telling me that I'm a liar and a bitch - or it's old high school friends blaming me because I'm busy! Kristin doesn't believe me that I never have time for anything at all, but of course I'm lying and it's all my fault. Never mind that she doesn't bitch at Kim and get all whiney at her - no, it's all me. I'm so sick of it. And then at work - we hardly have any jobs to do anymore, so I write countless e-mails and the occasional blog to take up my time - I get paid to do nothing. And don't you dare say that this sounds like a sweet deal - because it definitely is the worst thing ever. When you're tired at work and there is nothing to do - well, all you want to do is just go to sleep. Standing around and doing nothing is so pointless and a waste of my time. I can only go through so many days of this before I go crazy. We work in an airport - shouldn't there be much more to do? Apparently not. This sucks.
And school is coming up so soon - I am excited to move into my own room - and kind of excited to start my new classes - but I know that after the first few weeks are over and done with, I will be sick of it again. Maybe residence - I just hope it's not like it was last year, with a bunch of phony bitches and nosy bastards. That's all I want. People who can mind their own business for once - I mean, is your life really that boring? That you need to talk about other peoples lives and spread rumors? I guess it's back to junior high.
*sigh* Just talking about all that stuff makes me not want to go back at all anymore.

I don't know what I want these days.

I hate paint

I absolutely hate cleaning paint off of windows. It is the shittiest thing in the world to do. I feel so nauseous and light-headed - I actually feel like I'm going to pass out because of the goof-off stuff we had to use to clean it off. Definitely not cool. With the sun beating down on us through the hot windows - made us all want to pass out. But we got fruit afterwards and I saved Kimmy a kiwi. I did my good deed for the day - to make up for not giving that homeless man some change at the restaurant. I still feel bad about that. Oh well - I sent out some good karma in order to make up for the bad karma that I gave out on Monday. Oops.
I think I feel high.
Pretty colors.

I am going to go out onto a runway and jump in front of an oncoming plane. It will make everything a whole lot better than it is now.

I don't know why everything had to get so confusing, just as things were starting to make sense. I shouldn't even be feeling like this, but I can't help it. I'm not really looking forward to the rest of this week but yet at the same time, I'm really excited. That really makes no sense. I wish I had a magic 8 ball. That would tell me all the answers and then life would be good. Yeah, that would be just about perfect for right now. Then maybe it would tell me that I need to get more sleep.

Swimming, swimming, just keep swimming

Pretty Fishy

Words

Words I Like

berries

apple

muffin

bumblebee

cherry

pink

tree

banana

sunny

green

sparkles

seaweed

snow

whipped

gold

rainbow

I like words with double letters

and words that remind me of of summer and being a kid again

There will be more to come

It’s weird how everything can be going so well one day and how your life can be turned upside down in a few hours.
I’m so tired; I got absolutely no sleep last night and I look like shit to prove it. I think this is about one of the worst things that could happen, save for me getting hit by a garbage truck or something.
I just wish all the people around me would stop being so stupid and just get a clue - for once. It might make things so much easier, but that is highly doubtful - actually, impossible.

I don’t want to be here at all.

Ok guys. NEVER drink a bottle of wine and coolers. Very bad combination. But it was such a fun night; I don't regret it at all. Haha, we were paperbagging the wine so we looked like hobo's, but we didn't know how fast we were drinking that damn wine. Screwed Meredith and I over. Oh well, we had tons of fun. Then we left a random message on this Matt's voicemail - oh wow, were we idiots. He is a guy we work with, and obviously we are in LOOVE with him, since we called him at 2:30 in the morning, TEN times. It goes something like this:

"Hey lil' lawman!"
"S'up Beyonce!"
"Are you ready MATT?"

*all three of us* "I don't think you can handle this, WHOOO!"

Oh yeah.

work = boredom

I am tired of working. Haha, the airport is on red alert now. Hehehe. There is lightning in the area, and I'm laughing. Bwahahaha. This blog is pointless - I'm talking on the phone right now. So tired. I hate work - no wait - I hate sedans and surveys. Blah blah blah blah. Okay this is dumb; bye :(

I am so sick and tired of self-centered people. Everyone is always looking out for themselves, never stopping to look around them and ask themselves if what they are doing will hurt someone else. Nope, it's a dog-eat-dog world, and it's pissing me right the fuck off.

THINK BEFORE YOU ACT OR SPEAK

Once again, I'm at work. And once again, I'm bored. I have paper mache in my hair and all over my arms, pants, and shirt. It's white and crusty and doesn't really resemble dried flour and water....hee hee. Oh gross. Apparently I'm a vicious person, according to my coworkers + Kim. I have a lot of pent-up aggression, and word on the street is that I need a kickboxing class and a punching bag. Oh well, my birthday is coming up. Yay my birthday.

This rain is crazy. It keeps on coming down and pouring and raining. I'm being a bit redundant...okay, we're being a bit unprofessional - talking about 'giz'...ew. K, I'll write more later, hope everyone is doing well, despite the constant torrential downpours!

Hi again:D

I think a new blog is needed. Has anyone noticed how blogs seem to get neglected more often during the summer months? Oh well, it makes sense, everybody has their lives, myself included. How was everybody’s long weekend? I went camping by the Three Sisters campground – it was awesome. After a few weeks of working at the airport and dealing with all kinds of bullshit, the weekend away was perfect. Just sitting around a campfire, talking and being with friends – sleeping in tents is fun too. And the weather was surprisingly nice, just a little windy. Now I just want to camp all the time. Maybe when I win my lottery, then I will be able to. I can’t believe it’s almost June – May just flew by so quickly. I have so many mixed feelings concerning Edmonton and Calgary. I’m not sure if I want to go back there, or if I’m enjoying my summer better here. It’s puzzling. One thing is for sure though – I am definitely not looking forward to living in those rooms again, even though I’m going to have a single room. I am looking forward to seeing everybody again – I hope nothing is awkward or weird after not having seen people for so long. Oh well, I’m sure it will be most awesome. I’m excited for that. Anyways – I hope everybody is doing awesome and having an amazing summer vacation (i.e. work), and I’ll talk to you all later! Love you guys and miss you all so much,
XOXOXO Leanne

See ya

Goodbye biology....until September...we will meet again!

the never-ending week

YAY STATS IS FINISHED! Only two more to go....it's never going to END I tell you. Jeepers, this sucks. I hope everyone else is doing alright with everything, good luck to you all in the last few days!

lol

I HEART SUN SO MUCH IT'S INSANE! I AM INSANE! HAHAHA. I don't like studying though - I LOVE YOU DANI AND ALISON AND KIMMY AND AMY SO MUCH!!!!!!!!

SMRT

aaah. Who else loves to procrastinate? Damn this sucks. Wow, it's been a looong time since I've written a new blog. Sorry guys - if you were eagerly sitting by your computer waiting for this day....lol, in my dreams. Nobody, and I mean nobody, should be that keen. HAha...oh wow..I have had wAY too much sugar for this. Go diet coke and fuzzy peaches...I'm procrastinating really well right now, in case you haven't noticed. For some reason, hexapods just aren't doing it for me tonight. Not really sure why. It's dumb - because for some reason my sound card decided to go and now I can't have muzak from my computer...so I've listened to...um, 5 CD's I think...yep...my music taste has digressed tonight. I've listened to some very old jr. high music (a.k.a. jessica simpson, britney...lol, THAT was fun, haha), coyote ugly soundtrack (which kim conveniently had in her cd case..bwhahaha Kim, you couldn't stop me, cuz you are not HERE...somehow I doubt you'd mind though..), Hoobastank, and now the Police. These are most definitely not in order. Greenday is going to follow...which will be nice. If I'm desperate, I always have my two backstreet boys cd's....blech, I don't think I'll go that far. They're coming out with a new CD apparently...according to my cousin...she put herself on the fan site...lol, shoot me if I ever do that. LALALA, meow. I've been gnawing on people (a.k.a. Dani and Jason..he appreciated THAT) lately. It's fun, and I know Dani likes it. Cuz I sure do!!! Hmm. Yeah. Ladidah. I had a good conversation with Amy tonight....for some reason I've been signing yearbooks at a turboX100 speed lately. Maybe cuz the year is almost over. Yeah probably. I'm SMRT DANI! Maybe even SRT. Or SRT. Or MRT. Or ...mmhmm.
*shhhh*
I'm going to write a new blog before I leave...kind of a goodbye blog..*sniff*. I need to go and finish studying phylum arthropoda with all of it's subphylums and classes and orders and etc. Jeepers this is boring. I need a major distraction. Perhaps I'll go to bed soon....as soon as the sugar/glucose is sent to my liver and stored as glycogen. THEN I will be fine. Oh God, bio freak, that's me. GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY! I LOVE YOU ALL! :D

die

I hate males. Why do they have to blow everything way out of proportion and make it into your fault? I must have some sort of new record or something - I mean, twice in two days. First whats-his-ugly-face Kyle, and now Jason. Stupid fucks; that's what they are.

hello

I know I should write a new blog but I really don't feel like it at all. So I won't. Haha, my mom just told me that her oven blew up..bwahha, that's funny. Mm. Blown-up oven.

fuck fuck fuck FUCK.
stupid stupid stupid STUPID.

ZZZZZZ...

*yawn*

www.biteme.orgy

Ah technology, how do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways...MSN IS A STUPID BASTARD AND I AM GOING TO SINGLE-HANDEDLY LAUNCH AN UPRISING AGAINST IT....hate hate hate.
*sticks pins in msn voodoo doll*
DIE YOU #&$^@*@#&#*#*%(#*hfdoahfoaweyrfnefosdfsdfowe7r98323l;hr5oweyfr. Go to hell.
I hate subway too, even though I did get my sub today. It wasn't even that great for some reason. Subway is going to burn along with msn. Hmm. Does anybody want to get in on this? Because I am going to BURN SUB to the GROUND.
I am filled with a murderous rage right now...
I think I'm going to go and read my book...bwahahahaha. Then take out my special I'm-taking-over-the-world notebook(!) and plan my attack. Beware.
*evil laugh....fading into the distance*

Echo...echo...echo...echo....
SUCK ROCKS (not you guys)

Lies

Lauramy lied. We don't get to dissect a rat. No, we get to dissect a measly old smelly perch. I've gone fishing before - I don't need to know what fish guts look like. Oh well - at least I get to look at a cat skeleton. I think. Hmm. And a 72 hour chicken embryo. Neat. I can't wait until 2:00. I just wish they would let us really get into the biology of it - dissections and all. Lauramy said we get to just look at the rat. Oh well - at least I got to dissect a squid last time. Maybe my partners will let me handle the perch, considering they both don't really enjoy that sort of thing and have weak stomachs. Yay, dissections! I hope the fish bleeds. And we get to look at more sea stars and cucumbers (sea) today - I'm excited! This might just be like the time when I cut off the pig fetus's head with my scalpel. My partner gouged out his/her eyeball - so much fun. Poor fetus though...at least this chicken is still an embryo. I think it's the 8th or 9th week before a human embryo is classified as a fetus. So technically, the morning-after pill is not abortion, if it's not killing a fetus. But yeah. I'm kind of off-topic. OOH! I just got an e-mail from Alison. Thanks! I'm going to go and eat an apple now. Bye!

P.S. Our English prof. butchered the Italian language this morning. Pissed me off so much. She doesn't even know what she is saying. Senile old $&%^$&.

Hello

Ho hum. I'm bored. MMM, apple. I Heart Apple. SEX NOISES DANI!!!! Mmm. I love hot arms too. He's definitely a hunk of beef. Yummy! So, how was everybody's weekend? And by everybody, I mean Alison and Amy, because you're the only two who haven't updated your blogs. eeevil. Update your blogs now...or else. Yes - my blog really is about nothing, which makes it so spectacular! Hmm. This is my second attempt at writing it though - because my internet is being a stupid bitch. Breathe...like you said Dani...breathe in the positivity and exhale the negativity. That really doesn't sound right but oh well. I know what it means. I think I'm going to go and look up some courses, then read, and then sleep. I love sleeping - I missed my pillow while I was away. yay for pillows with your head molded into it. Love. Yay for not having class until 12:30 tomorrow. It is excellent. We all need to go out sometime this weekend because it may be the last time we have before the nervous-stress and anxiety sets in because of exams. Ok? Ok. And it will be fun. I have my margarita gigantoid glasses, which makes the world a better place. Anyways, have sweet dreams all! Ciao miei amici!

Hi

I finally went to the stupid clinic today and took care of my business. THERE...happy guys??! I sure hope so, because I guess I am. I was in a good mood until my mother decided to call me once again...kind of a repeat from yesterday. But it wasn't as bad as yesterday because I decided not to totally freak out and break down. Kim was napping anyways - it wouldn't be very nice if I woke her up anyways. Ugh. I really don't want to go home anymore though. Because then it means that I have to deal with so much more bullshit than I already deal with here. Oh well - if it means that I get to eat ice cream on sunday, then I am a happy camper. Oh and it will be sweet..Wonderful magic. But yeah. I really need to study, but all I wish to do right now is read my book and possibly take a nap. So I just might do that. Have a great rest-of-the-day everyone :)

Whatever

I am so stupid it's unbelievable. I really don't know how many more times I can afford to mix up numbers before it screws me over even more royally than it already has. FUCK. I hope some weird creature scratches its way through my window or the heat vent and eats my soul, or rips my heart out or something necessarily vicious and horrible. Then I wouldn't have to deal with all of this bullshit. I think there's something wrong with me, and I don't even get it myself. It feels like there's a weird heavy feeling in my chest, weighing me down. And if I think about it, I just might break down and freak out. I'm really not sure. And once again, my blog makes no sense. Oh well. I'm going to get back to deciphering mixed up numbers - it's not going to happen though. Sleep will be nice; then I won't have to think about things anymore.

??

Okay - I don't care what anybody says - but that was the most stupid idea that Chris, or whoever came up with it, has ever had. People were out of control, and I really don't mean that in a good way...from the sounds of it last night, things were actually getting dangerous. I mean, Kimmy told me that someone broke a glass bottle over his head, and that people were out there walking around with bare feet. What a bunch of dumb fucks. I don't care if I sound like I'm being stupid or whatever, but I expected waay more out of people. Someone actually could have gotten seriously hurt, and it really wouldn't have mattered, because most people were to drunk out of their minds. It's just beyond me.

St.Patrick's Day FESTIVITIES

Oh my God. Thursday nights? No....never again. This is why I stopped going to Ship nights...because Friday is such an unbelievable MESS. Oh, but it was soo much fun last night. I haven't had that much fun in such a long time. I really didn't mean to get totally wasted like I was..but something just hit me last night, so I decided to go for it. Even though I had a statistics midterm this morning at 8, and even though we're going out again for Kimmy's birthday partay. I just thought about it and I was so proud to be Irish, so I decided to celebrate in full force! It was excellent - so much green and ass pinching! And the dancing! Oh, the dancing was amazing...it was a beautiful night. I guess I was way drunker than I thought though, because Kim filled me in on some details right now that I had deleted from my memory. I guess I had told her some stories myself last night before I went to sleep, but I really don't remember AT ALL. Haha. So, yeah. I have new information to help piece together my night. Very interesting. LALALA. I was still drunk when I wrote my midterm this morning too! Kim told me that I reeked like alcohol while we were sitting there... It was definitely a new experience, let me tell you that. It was funny for a bit, but when the hangover hit me...it hit me hard. Not cool. Meh, it happens. Shit happens...blast I'm sick. I need this hangover to leeave me, so I can continue with the boozing. Twill be amazing fun tonight, right guys??! I'm looking forward to it..kinda. As soon as I am recovered. Anyways...that is all. I really don't feel like mustering up any more energy to type anything else. Have a great Friday!

Mmm. Kraft Dinner is so good. Makes me happy - since I can't have ice cream, my other love in this world.

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY KIMMY!
I hope you like your charms...we can go charms shopping together now. Doesn't that sound rather charming?? LOL. Like Dani said - we're gonna get reeally drunk on Friday...pre-drinking maybe?

FOUR LEAF CLOVERS!!!

St. Patricks Day! On Thursday! I am actually excited for this...I am part Irish, which makes it even more excellent! People are gonna be gettin' LUCKY on thursday. Wear green everyone!! Because if you don't, then the leprauchauns will pinch you...maybe on the butt. Hehe. Yes Alison, we will show our true blood on Thursday. I can't wait to go and dance - we haven't done THAT in forever. Thursday is the only thing that I am living for right now - that and Friday. This week blows the big one. I am so stressed out right now...I feel as if I'm hovering over that fine line between slight sanity and total nervous breakdown wreckage. I may have already reached that point last night actually. I think I scared Kim..and maybe whoever else could hear the banging. I feel like anything could set me off, and I just might blow up. Hopefully I'm by myself when that happens...GRRRR. My biology lab TA is asking for it. Well, we'll see...Night everyone..except that there will really be no sleep for me tonight. So I hope you all have sweet dreams :)

I HATE BEARTRACKS. ROT IN HELL.

Will it ever be Friday?

Holy man. This day just would not end. And I had to deal with that memorial service not once, not twice, but FOUR effing times. Those men in the red jackets are so rude, it's unbelievable. They just wouldn't move out of the way - I mean, yes, what happened was incredibly sad and unnecessary...but I do have class to get to. Move out of my way. For some reason my earth sciences class just dragged on and on...but my professor has some weird obsession with the 'Far Side' cartoons, which are so hilarious, so he shows them to us on a regular basis. Today was one of those occasions where he went crazy over them. And then he decided to read us this absurd article that he stumbled upon in those crack-addict National Enquirer mags...according to them, dinosaurs went extinct because they all played a gigantic game of chicken on a ten mile long secret pathway in the desert. Their craniums were shattered - *sniff*. Bullshit. Ten miles? Dinosaurs were not THAT agile, and I don't know of any dinosaurs that could run at extremely high speeds for that length of time. Oh yeah - they also discovered a blood-sucking 'vampirosaurus'. Fascinating. So I guess class was alright - interesting, nevertheless. And I went to my biology class today and stayed for the entire time. I was so proud of myself. I haven't truly done that in a long while. And plus, I was all by myself. But it was interesting - I love learning about marine organisms - glass sponges? It was soo cool! And how can you go wrong with jellyfish?
Kim smells like chemistry. Really badly too.
So tired. I'm still pissed off about the memorial thing today. And those damn news helicoptors circling around like vultures. I am really bitter right now.
But yeah. I think I'm going to stop writing about useless things.
Oh yeah, and another thing. I was on the phone today when there was a knock on my door. It was Eric, and I didn't feel like talking to anybody else, so I ignored him. And yet he seemed to stand out there for quite awhile, waiting to see if I would open up my door. Get the hint, Einstein?? I'M NOT HOME
And then I go out into the lounge to see what he wanted - to return my CD...so I sit there for awhile, talking with him and Evan...then go back to my room to get my stuff for class. And what do I get? Another knock on my door. It was him, wanting to know if I wanted to go to the mall on Sunday. I said maybe. I do have to go eventually, and Alison, you said you would go too. I'm not sure about Sunday though...I can't plan ahead like this. It just makes me angry for some reason. OH MY GOD. I don't even know why I am so pissy. It's horrible.
Just disregard all of the above.

Experimentation, anyone?
You scored as Romantic Kisser.
Good for you! You know how to kiss and hopefully you have a certain someone to experience a serge of happiness with. If not, it doesnt hurt to flirt kiss a little hehe. Just dont get carried away. Romantic kissing is always a plus! Kissing is an art keep it up and youll be really good!

YUMMY
You scored as Posion.
Your death will be by poison, probably because you are a glutton and are around so many people that it would be easy to get away with it.

Hehehe.
You scored as Sirius Black.
You are a gifted wizard and very loyal to your allegiance. Whilst you have a big heart and care very much about those around you, you can be a little arrogant and reckless at times

Lalala

I've always wanted to be a mermaid. Maybe I was in my past life!
You scored as Ariel.
Your alter ego is Ariel, the little mermaid! You are a dreamer, and you often want what you can't have. You can be rebellious and sometimes disobey your parents to get what you want.

GLEE!

I LOVE SPRING
Hi! It's so nice out - it makes me soo happy :D:D Even thought the sun is shining in my eyes right now, I don't mind. Aah...this just makes going to school so much easier. I went to all of my classes today! And I didn't even fall asleep in one of them! And our english quiz was cancelled, and I handed in my chemistry report a whole weekend early. Everything is going great. I had candy too. It is a good day with candy hanging around. Now I wish I wasn't so pale - I feel out of place compared to the sunshine now. Oh well...tans will come soon. Oh yay, spring! I really hope that it doesn't snow again *knock on wood* Well...it is finally Friday, and I hope that everyones day is going great...I'll talk to you all later!

*sigh*

It was really strange. Horoscopes are very weird - sometimes they can be so true, it's almost freaky. And this time I didn't even read it before the time it was referring to. I was actually in Calgary in my basement with Jason, and he mentioned that he had cut out my horoscope for me from the paper because he thought it was interesting. I was kind of intrigued, but then I just forgot about it for almost a week. Well last night he finally remembered and he gave it to me. It was strange. It really described last week, and what was to come
Today: Don't be concerned if you feel a lack of direction today. You start things, then move on to something else. You're not losing it. The moon rules you, and it is in your sign today but it is void of course. That's why you're "spaced out." Read All Signs above.
The Week Ahead: This is quite a sexy time for your sign. (Oh yeah.) Intimate relationships are taken to a whole new level. We're talking about a transcendent merging of two souls and all that. (Remember the ending to the movie Like Water for Chocolate?) Whatever happens will certainly turn your head. It makes you want to run away from home. (Which for you is saying a lot.) Something will occur that makes you see the world with fresh eyes.
That really described my last week perfectly. I felt so entirely 'void of course', it was pathetic. Lately I just don't know what to do with myself and my thoughts. I have things to do and people to talk to and everything, but it's weird. Sometimes I think that I think and worry about things waaay too much. Just everything I guess. I just feel disjointed or something. It really doesn't make that much sense, even to myself. I still love the people here at rez...just the girls here though (Kim, Amy, Dani, Alison, Lauramy...) To tell you the truth, I really couldn't care less about the others for some reason. It just feels so fake. You pass people from your floor in the halls, and they either ignore you or give you a half-ass greeting - it's all like, "How are you?" and "oh good." I really don't care that much, I am just tired of dealing with that. I don't know...My horoscope for today sounds really similar to how I am feeling also..very creepy.
We are in a period where life is changing so fast that it is almost frightening. You are happy with the present, pleased with the status quo. The problem is, there no longer is a status quo. Life is moving at a breakneck pace. You sometimes feel lost in this ultra fast-pace world of today. You can resist it, Leanne. Just because everyone else is running themselves ragged does not mean that you must do the same. You do respond to a different drummer. There's nothing wrong with following your own, more sedate, beat.
I guess that is kind of how I am feeling. Just lost I suppose. It feels as if school is never going to end...aah. I am tumbling and spiralling downwards in an abyss of papers and assignments and tests. Oh university...how strange you are. But sometimes good. I wouldn't trade my time here for anything, because I have gained so much experience and have met so many different people. I feel as if my circle has been greatly expanded. Maybe it's not even a circle...we'll call it an eclipse. But I like circles too.
I am doing very good with the whole Lenten promise of no eating ice cream. I haven't had any at all, which is a great accomplishment for me. Tonight it seemed like everywhere I turned people were there eating ice cream. With whipped cream. Mmm. Oh well - Dani and I went to Safeway and we got pot stickers. And I got granola bars and peanuts. And soup and ravioli and alphagetti. That doesn't look right...oh well. Oh yeah - and juice and bagels and some more cream cheese. Cinnamon bagels too. I'm excited...but mostly for our pot stickers Dani...did you end up eating any tonight? I couldn't even finish half of my dinner tonight...sorry - unless you were full too. Dumb Aramark food. I felt gross after that.
Oh I am tired. Lalala. Tired. But I really should attempt to finish my statistics assignment. Even though it doesn't make that much sense. Poor Kimmy - she has her organic chemistry midterm tomorrow and right now she is stuck trying to make sense of her pre-lab. Dumb. Stupid O-chem. I hated that course with a burning passion. Good luck Kim on your test...at least you'll have a little bit of time tomorrow to study. If not, then whatever. Organic chemistry has and never will make any sense whatsoever. Cabbage patch Kimberly, everything will work out in the end. It's almost Friday! :) Thanks for talking with me tonight - it was good to get everything out in the open. And I know I can tell you things...I just work off of my own agenda. But you know I tell you everything in the end. I'm pretty sure you know that you can talk to me too...of course.
Anyways - I'm going to stop writing some mindless babble and go and try to do some work. I want to be in bed before midnight. Wow, midnight. Go me. It's really hard to fathom...oh well, a girl can try.
I hope all of you girls have sweet dreams about things that make you happy, whether they be fantasy or reality. I know I will try to - dreams make the day a lot better; even if they will never come true. And even then, who knows?
**Good Night**

Ah, late nights are grand!

FRICK!
I have so many things that I want to say right now - but it's really too much to put into words. Hmm, thanks Alison, for our very good little 'discussion'. It put alot of things into perspective. You're very wise and I love your advice and words!
Thank you Kim...for convincing me to go to Windsors...because now I am WIDE AWAKE, at 2AM, talking on MSN. It's fun. 8AM class will be just amazing. Pfft.
This will be the last blog I'm going to write before I leave for Calgary tomorrow. It will be awesome. Kinda. I don't want to deal with my mom and the shit in her life right now. Ugh..
I think I have heartburn. It was that lame random grilled cheese that did it too. Sometimes it just hits me when I least expect it.
Blahahahah. I won't be able to write in here or check my e-mails while I'm gone..alas, no internet at home. Oh well. I just may need to exercise all of the technology junk that my life is infested with right now. That may be good for EVERYBODY at this time. And not just technology...I think people need to put things into perspective, and deal with crap in their lives. This reading break will be good. I feel like people aren't really the same as they used to be anymore. Many changes occurring I guess. Meh..change is also an awesome thing, you know? Even if you are totally opposed to change, I agree with it. It takes away the old routine and blandness out of life. I don't think that life is something that should be just plain and 'regular'. I guess it's because all my life, I moved around because of my dad's job. I haven't lived in one city for more than 4 years. That is the maximum. So I think that's why I get really bored and sick of the same old things a lot of the time. It's really frustrating sometimes though, because I wish it wasn't like that, but at the same time I like it. It keeps things fresh...hmm, sounds like baking soda that you put in your fridge. I think I will ponder that one tonight..actually this morning!
AMY...I hope the Plant was fun tonight...you deserve to have fun! Thanks for coming with us to Windsors...it was alright I guess. I really don't see the appeal, except for that there are $4.50 coolers. Yay! Have a spectactular time on the island!! Find a seashell for me?? *hugs and kisses, my little unicorn!*
DANI...I hope you get better over the break..no more sickness. We still need to have our night of fun Malibu and Ice Cap. And Kinky Story. Look, they're so important they deserve capital letters! *butt wiggle back to you*

KIM...I will see YOU on saturday..well friday too, considering we're travelling to calgary together, but hey! Saturday will be awesome good times! bye *cabbage patch Kimberly!*

ALISON...I hope you have the best reading week - maybe you'll even do some reading? Hahaha..Yeah..no.but MAYBE! Talking was good tonight...I have faith in you - you're a smart girl; you'll sort things out in your head. I think you just need some time to yourself, back at home..time to reflect on past events, and to find who you are again. Some of us have really lost that aspect to themselves. Soul searching, that's what it's called! And shipnight will be amazing. We haven't truly danced with eachother for a loong time - especially at the Plant..hey, we should go with whatever theme they have too..mm, maybe. So, yes...I will see you also tomorrow during the looong drive to Calgary...good luck on your midterm! Bye bye! *let's have a drink in 15 days, is it??* *hey guy..*

ANyways..that's all for now! It's very cold sitting by my window. Have a good time everybody, be safe and I will miss you all!

Hee Hee

Bwahahahahaha! I am finished! Finito! I wrote my last midterm tonight....chemistry. Did it suck, you may ask? Yes. Did I fail? Quite possibly. Do I care? NO! I am so relieved that everything is finally over with!!! I handed in my biology lab report that I worked my butt off on all last night, and the midterm was the only thing standing in my way of bliss. Aaaah. Done. It's a nice word. I hope I succeeded in doing something tonight - my stomach was grumbling and growling really loudly during the quiet test...hopefully I annoyed a few people and distracted them enough to make them forget an answer...maybe the curve will save me?
Baah...All of the Tim McGraw concert tickets are sold out. That would have been an awesome concert...and on my birthday too! But alas, there are no more. Kim and I have been having extremely bad luck with country concerts lately - first Keith Urban, and now this. What's next??
We have dodgeball tonight! I really am not that excited, but whatever! Anyways...I really don't have anything of true substance to say right now...except for that I am eating yogurt and granola and that I am sorry Amy about Tuesday morning. Thanks for the note! (Hopefully you really didn't cry) Bye friends.. :)

I need my gun

AAARGH. Oh God...I HATE stats with a burning passion. I would like to take my freshly printed-off stats lab, chew it up, and spit it out into an Aramark garbeurator. Bwahahahaha, and I will WIN...!
I think I'm going to go to bed sometime soon. I need plenty of sleep if I'm going to be up all night tomorrow doing my biology lab report and studying for my chem midterm. Will I ever learn? Probably not...but I was supposed to do some of that stuff tonight had it not been for the most evil course ever invented.
-Alison...I hope you are having a great time at the Armoury...we will have other times to dance, I'm sure. When we all get back from reading week, it will be super fun!

Flowers

It's such a pretty flower...and it smells so nice too. Thank you!

SNOW

That is what I get for laughing about Edmonton's lack of snow. Why did I do that? Why couldn't I have knocked on wood or something? Maybe you'll thank me Dani...but the rest of you might be mad...CRAP. It's snowing...and I was so delighted by the prospect of snow melting. Oh well...it's kind of pretty though...maybe I don't mind. I wonder if snow tastes good, or dirty? It melts too quickly when it lands on your tongue. And it's kind of weird to eat a snowball...I've done it before though. Hmm...snow....I want a popsicle.

Boo

Hey guys...I have decided to write a blog. I haven't written for a long time. Kimmy is being a dumbo right now. She wants to fix one of her previous blogs, because she can't spell. Hahaha..she 'freaked' her flask, instead of breaking it. I love you Kim...you really shouldn't go back and change them because they're who you are. But it's okay, because now it's on the record. Including that you can't spell 'damn'. Who knew? Oh well...
I am kind of tired today...even though Kim and I decided to go to sleep around 11:30pm last night...WEIRD. We haven't done that in forever - I can't even remember the last time. So apparently getting lots of sleep doesn't succeed in making you less tired. In fact, I feel even more tired than I would have if I had went to bed at 2. Oh well...
I guess it snowed in Calgary - hehehe. I laugh at them. I talked to my mother today, once again, and she kind of blabbed on for a long time. I lost track of time actually. Talking to her put me in kind of a bad mood. Once again she is going through stuff with my dad that I have no time for, and once again she decides to tell me all of the gory details. It's amazing that I haven't disowned my parents yet. Believe me, I've tried. They got mad when I started calling them by their first names though. And yesterday, my father called me and proceeded to tell me a whole load of stuff about my mom...he beat her to it I guess. Now I have both versions of the events, and I really don't like either one of them. I'm almost positive that at least one of them is modifying their stories...this is probably the biggest reason for why I left for Edmonton to go to school. To get away from their issues and bullshit. But no...they have my phone #. It's not very fair...I mean, I had to get through this last week of torture and midterms, and I am trying to dive into this new one right now...but no, I'm bombarded with their worries and complaints. It's really not a good thing, being the oldest one. Because you are told different things, and you know the REAL truth...you're really not protected like the younger siblings are. It's pretty stupid really. Because then you have to pretend like everything is fine, when really it's not at all. And it's not cool to pretend to either parent that you have no clue as to what's going one, when really you know eeeverything. Not good...So now I get to look forward to going home on Friday. Joy. I thought I was excited, but I really don't think I am. Maybe I will be as the week gets progressively more stressful, but I somehow doubt it. I really don't feel very excited about anything right now. Not even our Valentine's Day dinner date with the girls. (sorry guys)
Yes...I'm sure you all knew, but it's Valentine's Day. It doesn't even deserve a place on the calendar, or even to have it's name in capital letters. I guess it might though, because there was a St. Valentine...I wonder what he was like? OH GOD. I just went to google.ca and in place of the first 'O' they put a big wreath of roses. Gag me now. Am I supposed to go "aww" and coo at the sweetness of it all? Please...I hope Cupid flies into a tree and manages to get some arrows shoved up his butt. He's really not a nice naked angel-baby. He screwed over Astrophil/Sir Philip Sidney in Astrophil and Stella...did Astrophil want to love Stella? Not really...He was just minding his own business when Cupid decided to shoot him with his arrow. I mean, he was hiding in a bush...kind of cheap if you ask me. Anyways..where was I? Right.
So, St.Valentine. The patron saint of lovers. What was his miracle then?

The History of Saint Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day started in the time of the Roman Empire. In ancient Rome, February 14th was a holiday to honour Juno. Juno was the Queen of the Roman Gods and Goddesses. The Romans also knew her as the Goddess of women and marriage. The following day, February 15th, began the Feast of Lupercalia.
The lives of young boys and girls were strictly separate. However, one of the customs of the young people was name drawing. On the eve of the festival of Lupercalia the names of Roman girls were written on slips of paper and placed into jars. Each young man would draw a girl's name from the jar and would then be partners for the duration of the festival with the girl whom he chose. Sometimes the pairing of the children lasted an entire year, and often, they would fall in love and would later marry.
Under the rule of Emperor Claudius II Rome was involved in many bloody and unpopular campaigns. Claudius the Cruel was having a difficult time getting soldiers to join his military leagues. He believed that the reason was that roman men did not want to leave their loves or families. As a result, Claudius cancelled all marriages and engagements in Rome. The good Saint Valentine was a priest at Rome in the days of Claudius II. He and Saint Marius aided the Christian martyrs and secretly married couples, and for this kind deed Saint Valentine was apprehended and dragged before the Prefect of Rome, who condemned him to be beaten to death with clubs and to have his head cut off. He suffered martyrdom on the 14th day of February, about the year 270. At that time it was the custom in Rome, a very ancient custom, indeed, to celebrate in the month of February the Lupercalia, feasts in honour of a heathen god. On these occasions, amidst a variety of pagan ceremonies, the names of young women were placed in a box, from which they were drawn by the men as chance directed.
The pastors of the early Christian Church in Rome endeavoured to do away with the pagan element in these feasts by substituting the names of saints for those of maidens. And as the Lupercalia began about the middle of February, the pastors appear to have chosen Saint Valentine's Day for the celebration of this new feast. So it seems that the custom of young men choosing maidens for valentines, or saints as patrons for the coming year, arose in this way.

Interesting...Doesn't sound like such a happy story to me. Oh well...the stories of saints usually never are.
Alison, thank you for the little note and the candy that you sent me. I like candy. And chocolate. Kim is currently trying to convince me that the heart-shaped chocolates don't count for her Lent promise. They sure do! It's not like I could go out to Dairy Queen and order a cone, just because it's not real ice cream...it's actually ice milk, in case you cared. But I wouldn't do that, because that's CHEATING. Now everyone is going to know that you are contemplating cheating...it's on the record now.
Anyways everybody...enjoy your days, and I will talk to all of you later
P.S. Dani, I hope you feel better soon...you don't deserve the sickness...you seem to always get it worse than everybody else. I have vitamin C if you want it. Amy, I hope you're okay about Friday night. When I saw you, you seemed pretty upset. I'll see you tonight ok? That is, if you're still coming out.
Bye everybody!

Stupid Class

I don't think I really like blueberry and watermelon juice anymore. I never really liked Fruitopia very much to begin with. Oh well. I left my dinosaur class early because I couldn't take it anymore. Then I was walking back to Lister and suddenly I started getting a feeling of impending doom. I hate it when that happens. It's freaky.

No clue

Lauramy and I hard-core raped our biology midterm. It was excellent...bend-over-backward rapeage. That's not a real word - at least, I don't think it is.

Reese's Pieces are evil little demons disguised as colorful candies. They hide out in that bright orange, innocent looking box. It's not fair.
Interesting. I have five orange ones left and five brown ones. Alas, only three yellow ones remaing of that color. That means that I have 13 demons left to kill/eat.
12
Do you want to know why they're so evil? 10...8.
Every time I buy a box of those things I end up spilling them all over the place. They're just dying to escape. Tricky little bastards.
6
Last time I dropped them all under my desk because of the stupid space at the back of that pull out keyboard table thing...naturally I picked them all up and ate them, but still. And I was lying on my bed just five minutes ago and somehow the box flipped itself upside down (3) and they all spilled out...very unfortunate for them I must say.
One lone yellow reese's pieces left...*pop!* All gone. Oh darn..the phone is ringing. I think I'm going to screen my calls once again, because I have no CALLER ID. Hehe, it stopped ringing. I win. If it's important they'll leave a message and I'll call them back. Maybe it's my mommy...I tried calling her earlier, but no answer. Let's check.
HAHAHA, It's my mom! Yay...bye blog!

Biology

Amy skipped out on our laughing class. I really didn't want to go that much either Amy, to tell you the truth. So you're really not a wimp - I'm just a wimp that knows how to pull herself out of bed! So now I'm studying biology because I am up and ready...God I'm scared for this test. I don't know how people can feel so calm about exams...I even studied more than one night in advance, so I'll probably be fine but still...Biology is one of those evil subjects that can turn around and stab you in the back while you're innocently scribbling down the answers that you thought you knew...wow, scary thought.

Hmmm

I have decided tonight that Ben Harper is one of my new favorite singers. I especially like 'Sexual Healing' and 'In Your Eyes'. Eric is the one that recommended him to me. Whatever music we're listening to usually comes up at very random times.
"What song are you listening to?", or "You should really download 'Hurricane' by Bob Dylan - it's quickly becoming one of my favorite songs". That is what he said, not me.
I quite like my music...it makes me happy.
I really don't like Protists at all though...the only thing that interested me in the slightest was learning about Dinoflagellates, because they are the protists that cause the red tides in the ocean. I love the ocean and I miss it so much; it's kind of painful. Lately I find myself reflecting upon my life so much more now - it usually just makes me sad in the end. I think I think too much sometimes. Thinking too much can be detrimental to one's health, despite the views that people have on thinking - 'you know, it's good to think and analyze things!'. That's not true. Haven't you ever just wanted to shut off your brain? When you're lying in bed at night staring up at the ceiling at the fading glow-in-the-dark stars, and wishing that everything would stop.
I'm really confused right now. It's hard to put my confusion into words though. I'm not sure I really want to - sometimes I find that when I put things into perspective or when I start to understand what's REALLY going on in my life, then it just becomes worse. Because then I am hit with the harsh realization of how things really are, and how they will always be. I really don't like that feeling at all. Sometimes it's just better to ignore a situation, smile, and just live in the moment. No analyzing, no worries - just live for right now. I kind of like that mentality a lot actually...helps me get through the day quite often.
Sigh
I don't even think my blog makes any sense. Oh well.
Lately I've been feeling different about everything. I really can't put my finger on it though - it's really unsettling.
Dani - I'm looking forward to our fun night. Really. Do you think we should name it? I enjoyed acting 'special' with you. I think we should do it more often - even though we already are pretty special...well, I think so anyways. Don't you? Yes.
I think I'm really stressed out right now...it's not very fun. What's going on?? Midterms have the amazing capability of turning everything inside-out and creating a huge upheaval in the lives of everyone that I've come into contact with. I'll give them that one at least. Not bad...I wish that I could do that sometimes...hmm.
It's 2:00AM right now - I guess I should consider going to sleep now. But that's definitely easier said than done. I have so many thoughts rushing through my mind, which makes it basically impossible to fall asleep without thinking about them at least three times each.
Maybe I'm different, but I think that I'm always going to wish that things are different. Even if I'm happy in a situation, I always find myself wondering, "What if?". I really wish I wasn't like that, but I guess I really can't help myself. That's why I can never be content with the situations I'm in and ultimately, my life. Too much that could happen - I'm really not sure if I'll ever be able to just be happy with the way things are, and just accept them.
I think I would be content to just be a free-spirit, or perhaps a butterfly, flying and roaming over the earth. I could finally go back to the ocean, and just drift over it. Hopefully the water from the waves wouldn't spray up suddenly and surprise my delicate wings. But if that happened, it wouldn't be so bad would it? It's not like I haven't fallen before. Once I jumped off of this boat into an enormous mass of seaweeds. Who knows what's underneath? That's the scariest thing about the ocean and yet at the same time, the best. You really never know.
Seaweeds are very special. I learned about that tonight as well. Normally I might just look at them and think that they're just a kind of weed that tangles themselves around your feet, trying to drag you under. But they're actually very resilient creatures...they survive in very extreme conditions every day. Think about it. The crashing of the ocean on them - the hot sun beating down on them every day - and even just the saltiness of the ocean.
Anyways...I think I'm going to try and go to sleep. Have a good night everyone!

Big sigh of relief

Everything is better now. Isn't it weird how nothing makes sense, but then all of a sudden everything does? Well, not everything...but most things. I do realize that this is a very random entry with almost no direction or sense...but that's okay. That is who I am. But seriously...one conversation with someone can change everything...or rather, two e-mails. Is it bad when you can resolve everything in an e-mail? Before I thought it would be better to talk in person, but now I understand that it's hard sometimes...well, even though the sun is not really shining and the sky is not-so-blue, I am smiling. Which is good...Kimmy and I are listening to our most favorite randomly downloaded song, 'My Sweet Annette'. It's such a great, twangy, horrible song. I do know that Kimmy and I would never act like that when we're older - how could anybody?? I'd die before doing that...stealing a fiancee. I guess that just shows you how good of friends we are...even if we do get on eachothers nerves at random times...but it's just because we're always around eachother, which is a great thing 95% of the time! Anyways...off to study taxonomy and cladistics and protists??

eek

maybe they went out for dinner..maybe she's being reeeally productive

ummm

Okay...it's 7:30 already. What could they possibly be doing? Why isn't she back yet? She didn't even bring her cell phone so I can't call...could tea and homework be that scintillating? He damn well better walk her back here - it's dark out and it's probably cold. This room is weird without her in it...what if he's really a psycho person, escaped from the lunatic asylum?? OKAY..I need to get back to chemistry and other distractions. If she's not back in half an hour...we'll see. She should have a curfew or something...yikes. Guys, am I paranoid? How much DO we really know about this guy? :S

Mystery Lake

First of all - Congratulations to MAIN HENDAY!! We did it guys - WE WON SKULK!! oh wow...using the word that I wrote on Alison's board last night before going to bed - it's incomprehendable! But I just found out that that isn't actually a word...the word that I want is 'incomprehensible'. Woops. Haha
Okay...so Skulk started on Sunday, with the volleyball games. I didn't get back in town from Calgary until midnight that night - and plus, i don't play volleyball. Then on Monday every team had to go out onto the ice..well, it was more like slush. There were various relay races and other things that required Main Henday girls to chug 0.5% nasty-ass beer. It actually wasn't that bad, except for that my front was soaked! Twas fun. I was carried by Charko - I thought it would be scary being carried by him because under normal circumstances I wouldn't necessarily trust him with my safety...but it was fine; he's freakin' strong! So on Tuesday the eating contest began - it was so sick. I mean, I pride myself on being able to eat moldy, expired food, but it was gross. Main Henday boys left everyone behind with a time of 2 minutes and 6 seconds. So that was good. Later on we had to all dress up in drag. I will forever be scarred from some of those pictures. Kimmy and I supplied the majority of the girly clothes for the boys. I'm never going to look at those clothes in the same way ever again, but that's okay..we still won Skulk. Then there was the Mad Skulker (a.k.a. J.J.) running through the wings at weird late hours...we still got the little lanyard thing out of his pants. That sounds vaguely dirty, which wasn't my intention - it's J.J. Wednesday was the dumb family feud - Dani and I went for a little while, then we decided that Ice Caps were more important, so we went and got one. Then we proceeded to fill it with lots of Malibu. Yummy. Thanks Dani! That made some of the stresses go away, which is probably not a good thing. Filling up the void with alcohol. LOL. We had dodgeball against 2mac - we were slaughtered, unfortuately. 4-1, final score. Meh, it's all okay. Thursday -----HOLD IT!

Guess who just called our room???? Hahahhahaahahahaha, this is awesome. Kimmy just got a very surprising phone call...from STEVE..otherwise known as POS. LOL, this is fantastic. I feel justified in writing about this in my blog because she is my roommate. She doesn't really mind though - the only people who read our blogs are our friends, who she'll tell more details to. I will clear this up for the record..I was going to write about it after the Skulk stuff, because sometimes order is nice..but, Kim got intoxicated last night. Even more drunk than Alison and I, which is odd. BUt yeah...on the bus ride back Alison and I noticed that she was sitting with him...which naturally aroused(haha, romance novel Dani?) our suspicions. We tried to get her away, but no can do. So, I guess they were hanging out that night and 'getting to know eachother'. Everyone does stuff like that at the bar..some more so than others...some people have lists..! (me? possibly..?) He asked her if she wanted to go to Steeps with him..or meet him there! She is kind of dumbfounded right now. I just asked her if she was, and she said 'yup!'. Hehe. But even though it's him, I think she should be more open-minded. He seems to genuinely, almost care for her. He was concerned for her last night, asking if she was okay and trying to slow down her alcohol intake. I think she should give him a chance. Who knows right? Life always brings you the unexpected, and who would ever expect that? Sometimes I think I even need to take many more chances on everything - regret is a sad feeling. I once read somewhere that 'if only' are the two saddest words in the English language. I have to agree with that...should have, would have, could have. Who needs that on their conscience? So maybe I am overanalyzing this, but it all makes sense. Not that I'm saying anything is going to come of this - I am in no real position to anyways. And those, my friends, are my views on the situation.
Anyways, Thursday - Thursday I shaved Eric's legs for the drastic hair change...I didn't think it would be that bad at first, but once I was doing it, I found it really odd. I never would have thought that shaving somebody else's legs could be so strangely intimate. I'm not sure I liked it... Hmm. Weird. For once in my life, I really don't have anything to say about this.
Can you teach yourself how to write with your left hand, if you write with your right? I was just pondering this...are people just born being ambidextrous?
Thursday night our floor made a sculpture of some certain anatomy parts out of all the donated food. Poor food. It probably will never be the same again...there was even a green STD. Our sculpture won first place though, which was awesome. The entire time our floor was trailing behind 8. Some of us honestly didn't think we were going to do it...it certaintly was a trying time. People at eachothers throats and everything...some people are so obsessed with winning; it's sad.
I am really cold right now. Brrr. Really cold.
Early Friday morning we partook in the acclaimed 'Tequila Sunrise'. It was so horrible, waking up at 5am to truck up ten floors to do a shot of liquor and orange juice. Oh well - got us some participation points. People were being really obnoxious though about the people who didn't want to come along. I'm not even going to get into this now though. I'm sure we've all bitched about it enough.
Wow, this blog is getting long. I guess I have lots to say - there's probably not very much substance in it all.
So...yesterday I had the longest nap of all time. I didn't go to chemistry, which probably was not the smartest thing to do, but I value sleep. The whole lack of sleep was going against my values..I had to stop that. After dinner the judges came and looked at our scavenger hunt results...Alison, Kyle, Mike, Kate, Mike L. and I had to fit into a huge pair of 6X pants...believe me, they were big. I don't even think there are people that fat out there that would wear those things. Haha, Charko played the powerpoint presentation for the judges...I kind of got a glimpse of some of the after shots of the guys. I really didn't need that, but whatever. Hair all gone. And Kjell was entirely covered with marker. That was amusing. Also, every floor member had to give themselves wedgies. It was kind of uncomfortable...I didn't like it much. So, blah blah blah...that was the end of the Skulk competition...all we had left to do was await the results. It was very nervewracking.

Mystery Lake...ah, good times. The bus ride there took a long time because drunk people kept on making the driver stop for a pee-break. And this group of girls somehow managed to ruin every genre of music for Kim and I...their singing was so terrible. Once we got there everything was awesome...we ended up in Bonaccord...wherever the heck that is. The bar, or sports lounge I should say, was great...our floor snagged some prime seating in the back corner, complete with couches and chairs! Dani, Kim, and I brought along disposable cameras...I'm really excited to see what I took 27 pictures of...Kim doesn't even remember taking half of them...me either for that matter. It will be a surprise then! I don't really like surprises that much though...

The drinks weren't that expensive...hardly, comparing to the club prices in Edmonton or Calgary...$3.75 for a cooler is awesome. Lets see, what did I drink? I had a Smirnoff, one rum-and-coke, a pitcher of vodka slime, a strawberry daquiri cooler, and a a tequila shot..plus the two pre-drinking drinks. I can put back a surprising amout...and I really wasn't that smashed. It was one of those good drunks, you know? Usually being drunk isn't a good thing, but if you are going to be, you don't want one of those 'what the hell did I do last night?' drunks. I'm sure everybody reading this will know what I mean. Not bad, not bad. The dancing was good...our floor was having tons of fun...which only increased when they announced that Main Henday won Skulk. I think everybody spilled half of their drinks because we were all jumping up and down so much...it was one big orgy after that...but a good orgy, if there is such a thing as a good one...hugs and kissses galore. After that, we were pumped. I can't wait to order some Skulkwear...we'll get 'champions' written on the back...awesome.

Okay...I was having this conversation with Alison this morning...why can't I be just friends with guys? She says it's because I'm just so nice to all of them and they take that the wrong way...maybe that's my problem...I can't be bitchy? I think I can be pretty mean when I want to be...I've scared Kim quite a few times with my glares...so what? Am I just supposed to be friends with girls? That's not very fair...I mean...I'm still great friends with Tyler, despite what happened that night at the Armoury...and Mike and I are fine now, after all the shit that has happened. I love it when my problems are solved; the world just seems to be a much happier place...but I mean..I don't know. Every time people from our floor are out, I find some guy coming on to me. Last night it was Eric, and even Mike at a few points...what the fuck??! I know I've done some stupid crap in my time, but still. It's not cool. Eric is my FRIEND...but I'm getting all the signs that that's not what he wants to be. So now I don't know what to do. I know he was drunk last night...but I can read all the signs..I'm not stupid. I'm just confused. Kjell came up to me last night and was all like, 'go and dance with Eric'. I just asked why, and he said 'why not?' What the eff?? I absolutely hate it when I find out things through other people, or when they can't come up to me themselves. This is messed up. CRAAAAAAAP. Crap, crap, shit.

Kim left for Steeps..finally. She takes forever to get ready, but she looks really nice. I bugged her and make kissy sounds when she was leaving. Hee. Now I am alone.

Alone.

Lalalala, what to do? This blog is amusing me greatly...but unfortunately, my low GPA will not amuse my parents. BLAH. I hate school. That's the thing that scares me the most..what if I am doing all of this for nothing? It's kind of freaky. This is just like high school X 100. I think I'm going to turn on my lava lamp. That usually calms me down. I wish I could nap, but I've already done enough of that. hahahaha, my sleepy hangover is finally subsiding though - that is a good thing.

Amy...we ARE going to laughing class on Tuesday. It will probably help us both. And no more sojourns from Main anymore. We love you and we all want you here. Capisce? Bene...Alrighty...I'm going to POST this biatch - have fun reading.